Still Loving You
by Mako Headrush
Summary: As Cloud mourns the loss of Zack, Sephiroth tries to comfort him, and wonders if an old flame can be rekindled. Inspired by the Scorpions song of the same title. Rated T for now, may be upgraded to M. Request fic for Princess Turk!  CloudxSephiroth, yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: As Cloud mourns the loss of Zack, Sephiroth tries to comfort him, and wonders if an old flame can be rekindled. Crisis Core-ish, obvious revision to canon. Yaoi.  
Inspired by the Scorpions song of the same title.. ****Two-shot, could be longer than that, though. We'll see. :)**

**Rated T for now, might be upgraded to M later on.**

**Disclaimer: Square Enix owns all except for my ideas. This is written for fun. **

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Reports of Zack Fair's death reached Sephiroth's desk quickly; and while the general was saddened to hear of the loss of one of his best SOLDIERS, his heart nearly stopped beating when he realized just who had accompanied Zack on that last fateful mission - cadet Cloud Strife.

Kunsel had been the one to deliver the news about Zack. "Cloud's been hurt, sir," he informed Sephiroth. "Nothing serious, but he's in shock, and is being treated for dehydration and exhaustion." Sephiroth was out of his chair in an instant. "I must see him, Kunsel," he murmured. "If anyone is looking for me...that's where I'll be." Kunsel nodded briefly, and took his leave of Sephiroth.

_Cloud, please be okay_, Sephiroth thought frantically, as he flew out of his office, and headed down to the infirmary to check on Cloud. He slowed his gait slightly, as he stopped to think for a moment - perhaps Cloud wouldn't even want to see him. Things had ended badly between the two, to say the least; Sephiroth and Cloud had been in a short-lived relationship that had started off quite normally. Eventually, though, Sephiroth's jealousy of Cloud's developing friendship with Zack would serve to destroy the relationship that the general and Cloud had only just begun. Sephiroth frowned as he remembered Cloud's last words to him, before finally breaking it off. "I've done nothing wrong," Cloud had told him, tearful and angry, "except to make a friend. If you can't trust me being alone with a friend, Sephiroth...then we have nothing together. I can't be with someone who doesn't even trust me."

Sephiroth sighed, regretting his suspicious nature. He had trouble trusting anyone, really - but his lover _should _have had his undying trust. Cloud was right; he'd done nothing wrong. It wasn't really Cloud Sephiroth was worried about though, but Zack. He'd seen the way Zack looked at Cloud, when he thought nobody was watching. It seemed pretty obvious to Sephiroth at least, that Zack had it bad for the young cadet. Naturally, Sephiroth had confronted Zack in a fury as well, accusing him of "fucking my boyfriend." Zack vehemently denied all accustations, and advised Sephiroth to get a grip. Upon which, Sephiroth punched Zack, knocking him out cold.

That had been the last straw for Cloud, and he broke things off with Sephiroth that very day. Sephiroth sighed again. _Well, I no longer have to worry about Zack, do I_, he thought sadly. _What a fool I've been...I hope Cloud can forgive me._

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Cloud was still unconscious when the medics brought him in. He and Zack had been hit by enemy fire just north of Gongaga Village, Zack's home. As the enemy fired upon them, Zack used his body to shield the cadet; and had effectively saved Cloud's life, by sacrificing his own. The cadet's injuries were minimal; shrapnel wounds in his leg, arm and back. When Cloud finally woke up in the hospital bed, he screamed aloud. The last thing he remembered seeing, was Zack's face, as he lay in the field dying, and this flashed through Cloud's mind as he came to. _Zack needs my help_, Cloud thought, confused. Feeling somewhat disoriented, he looked down to see himself confined to a hospital bed, hooked up to various IV's and monitors, and flipped out. _Have to get the fuck out of here_, he thought desperately. _Have to get back to Zack, he needs my help..._

Sephiroth walked in at that exact unfortunate moment, as Cloud woke up, thrashing in his bed, fighting with the nurses, and trying to pull IV's out of his arm. "You don't seem to understand!" Cloud shouted deliriously. "Zack is out there on the field, he may be dying, I have to help him!" Two orderlies came running in, to try and restrain Cloud, while one of the nurses readied a tranquilizer shot.

"What is going on here?" Sephiroth demanded icily. One of the orderlies approached him, and, in an almost apologetic tone, asked him to leave. "I'm sorry, General, sir," he said to Sephiroth, "but we need to restrain this patient before he hurts himself. Please, if you could wait outside..."

"I will not," Sephiroth replied, frowning. "Please. Let me talk to him. Give him the shot, if you must, but let me talk to Cloud." The orderly sighed resignedly, and the nurses nodded, grumbling a bit - but nobody present was about to tell General Sephiroth he couldn't do whatever he wanted.

"Sephiroth?" Cloud called weakly. "Is that you?"

"Yes, I'm here, Cloud," he replied, rushing over to Cloud's bedside. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't- I don't know why I'm here, Seph," Cloud stammered, clearly agitated. "I need to find Zack!"

_Oh gods, he doesn't know_, Sephiroth realized, groaning inwardly. "Cloud? You need this shot that they're giving you, can you just relax enough for that? Please?"

"What is it?" Cloud asked suspiciously, as he leaned on his side, and one of the nurses gingerly moved his hospital nightgown up, and quickly gave him the injection in his posterior.

"It's something to help you sleep, the nurse told him, as she plunged the hypodermic.

"No!" Cloud shouted, swatting the nurse's hand away. "I told you, I have to find Zack!"

"Cloud," Sephiroth said quietly. "Please," he said to the orderlies and nurses gathered around Cloud's bed. "Can you give us a moment alone, please?" Everyone nodded silently, and disbursed quickly.

"What's going on?" Cloud demanded, on the verge of hysterics. "Seph, please...tell me!"

"I am telling you, Cloud," Sephiroth murmured, taking Cloud's hand in his. "Zack...didn't make it, Cloud. I'm so sorry. I just received the report on my desk."

"Oh gods, no," Cloud said tearfully, a broken sob escaping his throat. "No...how did it happen? The last thing I remember...we were running, they were shooting at us - we had taken cover behind a tree - Zack was trying to cover me..."

Sephiroth sighed. It was never easy, delivering this type of news to someone. Usually, he'd be delivering the news to a parent or other loved one - someone he didn't know, or knew only peripherally. But this was not just anyone, this was _Cloud_. He wondered how much he should be telling Cloud, knowing it would only upset him further.

"He...Zack was shot to death, by your assailants," Sephiroth answered calmly. "I don't know if I should be telling you this, Cloud...seeing as you're so upset..."

"Please, Seph," Cloud begged, crying. He sat upright in the bed, and leaned into Sephiroth's shoulder, weeping. "Please...don't keep anything from me, please tell me..."

"He died trying to save you, Cloud," Sephiroth replied. "He...was a hero. I shall see to it that he receives the president's medal...the highest honor we can bestow on him, posthumously..."

"What good is a fucking medal going to do, he's gone," Cloud wailed. "He's..._gone_. My friend, my brother...oh gods..." Cloud collapsed, exhausted, into Sephiroth's arms. He shuddered as he sobbed despondently into the general's shoulder.

"It's okay, Cloud," Sephiroth murmured soothingly, hugging Cloud. "Let it all out..." Sephiroth slid himself onto the hospital bed, cradling the sobbing cadet in his arms.

"I'm tired," Cloud sniffled. "Stay with me, Seph? I'm so...so tired. So sad..."

"Of course you are," Sephiroth replied sympathetically. He stroked Cloud's hair, as he felt the cadet relax and go limp in his arms, as the drugs took effect.

"Love you, Seph," Cloud mumbled, as he drifted off to sleep. Sephiroth nearly sat up straight at this admission, but somehow restrained himself, not wanting to rouse a sleepy Cloud.

_He couldn't have possibly...meant that, could he? _Sephiroth wondered, still feeling a bit astonished. _Must be the drugs. There's no way that Cloud...still has feelings for me. Not after what I put him through..._

Even so, Sephiroth smiled a bit after hearing those words, drug-induced though they might be. He curled his arms around Cloud protectively, as he began to grow drowsy, and eventually fell asleep, huddled around Cloud in the tiny hospital bed.


	2. Chapter 2

A short time later, Sephiroth was awoken when a nurse came in to check on Cloud. "Excuse me, general," the nurse said apologetically. "I need to take his vital signs…if you don't mind moving…"

"Of course," Sephiroth murmured in reply, carefully moving off the bed, and taking a seat in a nearby chair. Cloud groaned and shifted as the nurse gently shook him awake. "Good morning," she said softly. "Sorry to wake you, I'll need to take your temperature…"

Opening one brilliant blue eye to regard the nurse, Cloud nodded, and sat up slightly in the bed, opening his mouth slightly to allow the nurse to place the thermometer, while she took his blood pressure reading. "One twenty over eighty," she declared, removing the cuff from Cloud's arm. "And your temperature's normal, too," the nurse added, removing the thermometer from his mouth. She smiled down at Cloud, and said, "We'll see about getting you discharged soon; I'll talk to the doctor and get the paperwork going. You'll likely be excused from duty for the next few days—"

"That won't be an issue," Sephiroth interrupted. "I'll see that Cloud is excused from his classes and guard duty, there will be no problem with that."

"Thank you, general," the nurse murmured, blushing, in spite of herself. Sephiroth was so damned forceful – and protective, especially when it came to Cloud, and the nurse was feeling a bit discomfited by this. "Cloud?" she continued. "You may need someone to look after you for the next twenty-four hours—"

"I'll do it," Sephiroth said, interrupting again. "I'll stay with you, Cloud." He reached out and idly stroked one of the blond spikes sticking straight up from Cloud's head. The look on the general's face was almost…tender, the nurse noted with a smile. "That's fine, sir," the nurse replied. "I'll be back shortly with the discharge paperwork, once the doctor signs off on it." Sephiroth nodded in acknowledgment as the nurse left the room, then sat back on the edge of Cloud's hospital bed.

"Seph, you don't have to do that," Cloud protested, sitting up in the bed. "Really, I'll be fine."

"Please let me do this," Sephiroth insisted. "I want to take care of you." _Maybe I can make up for being such a jealous asshole of a boyfriend…_

"You're too good to me," Cloud muttered. "I don't deserve any kindness. It's my fault Zack is dead…" His voice caught, as a sob escaped his throat.

"Shh, no," Sephiroth crooned, cradling Cloud in his arms. "Don't say that. It's not your fault, Cloud." He brushed his lips against Cloud's hair, then paused, as a question formed in his mind. "Cloud? I don't recall seeing you on the original duty roster for that mission. How did you come to be on that mission anyway?" The general thought briefly that perhaps it was too soon for Cloud to go over what had happened, but the question was already out there.

"Oh gods," Cloud blurted, sniffling. "See, Seph – that's just the thing. You're right, I wasn't originally assigned to this mission."

Sephiroth raised a silver eyebrow curiously. "So I thought," he said quietly. "Mind telling me how you came to be on this mission, then? I know I didn't assign you, nor did Genesis or Angeal—"

"I volunteered," Cloud said, interrupting. "I signed up for the mission, even though I knew it'd be dangerous. And I volunteered because I was being…selfish. I only wanted to be near Zack." Cloud sobbed quietly, sinking back into his pillow. "I feel like an idiot now, with a stupid schoolboy crush. And now a man I loved is _dead_ because of me!"

_Loved?_ Sephiroth turned the word over in his mind, frowning, but said nothing. _My suspicions were correct, then_, he thought, trying to ignore the jealous anger he felt boiling up inside. _I knew they were more than just friends._

"I'm so sorry, Sephiroth," Cloud whispered. "I know this must…hurt you to hear it. But I did grow to love Zack, after you and I…" His voice trailed off, as fresh tears flowed down his cheeks. "So sorry," he mumbled. "I never meant to hurt you…never meant to hurt Zack…I've fucked up everything now…"

Sephiroth sighed wearily. He was angry about Cloud's admission, but he also felt that now was not the time to hash it out. "Look, Cloud," he said patiently. "You've been through a great ordeal. Once the doctor discharges you, I'm taking you back to my quarters, and I'll look after you."

"No," Cloud protested, stubbornly. "I know you have better things to do than to babysit me. Get one of the nurses to do it, or something."

"_You_ are my priority right now, Cloud," Sephiroth insisted. "I can reassign Genesis and Angeal to take over some things for me for the next few days. Look," he continued, stroking Cloud's hair. "I know I wasn't much of a boyfriend, Cloud, but I do still care about you. Please, let me do this for you…"

"I don't deserve this," Cloud muttered, leaning into Sephiroth's shoulder, exhausted. "Why are you doing this? Why are you being so nice to me?"

Sephiroth cupped Cloud's chin, and turned it upward, forcing him to make eye contact with him. "Because I still love you, Cloud. I've never stopped loving you."

"Oh gods…Seph," Cloud murmured, inching up towards Sephiroth. "I…I don't know what to say." _I shouldn't_, Cloud thought helplessly, _but I want to….I want to kiss him… _Cloud touched his fingers gently to the general's jawbone, and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Cloud, don't…" Sephiroth murmured, protesting weakly. "I want you, gods know I do, but not like this…not when you're hurting…" _Oh, fuck it all_, Sephiroth thought, and returned the kiss, brushing his lips firmly against Cloud's. He groaned slightly as he felt Cloud's tongue snaking in between his lips, trying to part them. A mental image of just taking Cloud right there, in his hospital bed, entered Sephiroth's mind, and made his groin harden. _No...I can't do this...shouldn't do this, _he thought guiltily.

A quiet cough was heard from the nurse, as she re-entered the room. Sephiroth and Cloud started upon hearing her enter, and parted from each other. "Excuse me, sirs," she stammered, blushing beet red. "I—I have the discharge papers here. If you could sign here, and here, Cloud," the nurse said, handing Cloud the papers and a pen, "we can get you out of here quickly."

"Okay," Cloud replied, squinting slightly as he signed the discharge papers. "Here you go," he said to the nurse, handing her the papers, and sat up in the bed, intending to get up.

"Wait a minute, now," the nurse cautioned him, placing a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "Let's get you a wheelchair."

"I don't need a wheelchair," Cloud protested, trying to stand. Sephiroth's hand shot out to support Cloud, as the cadet swayed, his knees threatening to buckle.

"Oh, you don't, do you?" Sephiroth inquired, smirking. "Come on, Cloud. I'll push you out. I believe it is hospital policy anyway, that you have to leave here in a wheelchair."

"Generally speaking, yes," the nurse said, agreeing. "Sir, if you'll wait here with Cloud, I'll have an orderly fetch the wheelchair for you."

"Thank you," Sephiroth murmured, sitting on the bed next to Cloud, as he put his arm around him. "Cloud?" he asked, grinning. "Why are you so goddamned stubborn?"

Cloud chuckled. "I could say the same thing about you," he replied, smiling. "Sorry I'm so much trouble."

"You're not," Sephiroth replied. "I think I'm a bigger pain in the ass than you are, really."

"Hmm. I think I agree," Cloud said, grinning cheekily.

"Nice," Sephiroth replied, smirking. "Ah. Here's your ride." An orderly had entered the room, with a wheelchair. Sephiroth helped Cloud to his feet again, and the orderly helped him into the wheelchair.

"You'll stay with me, in my quarters," Sephiroth told Cloud, as he walked alongside the orderly, who pushed Cloud's wheelchair along the hospital corridor. "And don't argue with me. We'll…talk later, after you've rested."

"I've done enough resting, damn it," Cloud argued, folding his arms across his chest stubbornly. Cloud was utterly confused by his conflicting feelings – still mourning Zack, but intrigued by the kiss he had just shared with Sephiroth. What did it mean? Did it mean anything, other than Sephiroth trying to comfort him? Or was there something more to it_? I refuse to let myself rebound with anyone_, Cloud thought, _but especially Sephiroth. I can't use him like that…he'll be hurt enough when he finds out the truth. What I never told him…_

"You really can't ever go home again, can you," Cloud murmured to himself.

"What was that?" Sephiroth inquired absently, barely paying attention, as he was lost in his own thoughts about Cloud.

"Nothing," Cloud muttered. "It was…nothing. Just thinking out loud."

"Oh," Sephiroth replied, wondering now exactly what he had heard. "I'm going to get my car now, and I'll pick you up at the entrance here."

"Okay," Cloud replied, sitting back in his chair, sighing, as he stared at the departing figure of Sephiroth_. I have to tell him…I have to…a lie of omission is still a lie…I can't keep on like this._

_Sephiroth said he still loves me, _Cloud pondered, worriedly, as he sat there waiting for Sephiroth to return._ But will he still feel that way once he hears what I have to tell him? Will he?_

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**A/N: So...whatcha think? I haven't written Cloud and Sephiroth in a while, and I've missed it. :) I think I have one more chapter (at least) in me for this story.**_  
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